There has been several weird incidents occuring to my family…
First it was the Louis Vuitton handbag that was totally destroyed
Second was the stationary car parking at the side, some person pushed my sister’s car and scratch against this 4 wheel car just to let their car be able to get out… and care no shit about our car.
If I know both who fucking did that. I wish I could curse them. Those evil, irresponsible people are not worthy enough to live in the same world as me. (Haha, I sound so evil and superior now)

I mean if they cause problems and troubles for another people, they are just evil.
My sister worked hard to get the bag, and that bastard did that to her bag!
Has he ever felt he worked hard for something and lost it too?
I wish something important to them will be gone. So they can understand that.
No. I wish them dead. Honestly.

Another issue that had been really making me annoyed is those people who are so fucking ignorance. takes other people’s opinions and try to argue about how they think the corrupted government is good. OMFG. You have an educated PM who is experienced for 15 years in politics and is actually educated so well, much better than the previous ones, and you still think that previous ones are good? You probably have advantages from it and be willing to sell your soul and intelligence in exchange for you own benefit not the long term benefit for the whole nation. Justice is the most important thing for me, and I shall not allow anyone who has destroyed the nation any chances of destroying it more. We need CHANGE. we need this new PM to make it clear that no more, never will there be corruption for personal benefit again!

I just can’t understand how people actually look over the human rights issue. Anyone dealing with this October incident to shooting tear gas to people should be prosecuted. You fucking killed people, and hurt them. Claiming that another nation did that do is like claiming…..your classmates cheated on the test. You should cheat too. It is in your own morals to know how to deal with peaceful protests. Not to disperse that without warning or use expired tear gas on them, or even claim them of holding pingpong bombs. Who is so crazy to do that to themselves. Dr Pornthip the forensic doctor had also said that it is cause by tear gas!!

I hate people who still side with people who is so obvious in being in the wrong and do it again and again. Chances are not given the second to those who sinned without thinking. They knew the consequences, they have to accept it and be responsible for it. Better, they should commit a suicide ritual so they may end up in heaven after being such an ugly beast disguised as a human.

I am releasing all my anger and hatred on this post.
How i wish i can be a shinigami.
I will destroy all evil and be Justice itself.

well… you know…. i am really really revengeful……
I really need a deathnote…. you know…..I wish I really have supernatural powers…….to destroy someone….
someone who caused my close ones to be hurt….
My beloved sister’s LOUIS VUITTON BAG has been cut by some penknife, and an expensive bag like that you know how vengeful i am.

I curse that bastard……..
I will curse him to ride his motorcycle in a road, get run over by a ten wheel truck. crashing into his head… and his fingers shall also be cracked one by one by the wheels….
I just wish him dead. People like that … are NOT important to our society.

Just eliminate those people like him. I dont fucking care about his fucking family.
Only people who are decent are worth to live in this world.
How I wish I have the deathnote and be the Kira, God of the new world.. so I can eliminate all those people and make this world a better place.

I curse that person……..I curse him…..

Sorry about being too emotional…. but I am really really mad about it!
I won’t take my words back either. I want him dead!

These few days, Dad was here with us and we had fun bowling….
My body is still exhausted!!!! But you know good things come in replace of my little freedom.
First of all, Thailand has now a great, great PM who is not only intelligent, but also very ethical and I know he is someone who would not corrupt.
CHANGE like Obama used will be apply to Thailand under K. Abhisit!!!
Thailand will CHANGE and resumes its great images back!
I would be in the fitness centre to slim down myself too!!!
The massive weight i gained!!!

I need to go out and buy some CDs.. hadnt got enough time yet!
But anyway… I need to put all my best to the next best thing I will be doing!
Ganbare!

This is Eva in Thailand!!!

I am finally back home in my comfort zone, yet you know how much I would miss Sydney!!!
Well, those great thoughts that I have in mind might not be that great after all.
I usually think really great when I am with myself, so I will miss that moment alot.
Yet I must try my best to keep up with good and philosophical thoughts!

It is such a pleasure to know that Abhisit is now our PM!!
Finally someone who is decent and great, someone who is really really elite and ethical!!!!
This is so good for the nation!
Well, I know there are several consequences that they will have to face, But I am proud to see that a good candidate is the best for the nation, since the nation can;t be much worse than it is now, when the Thaksin regime had already destroyed pretty much for Thailand’s image and unity.

I am putting my best respects and support for Khun Abhisit!

This is Eva-chan….. staying up all night and morning….Stressed out.
But my brain won’t fail to think philosophically.

Is there  stairs that pave to the highest aim in life?
If we aim for higher and higher, are we being greedy?
I have always wondered myself.

After one step, I aimed so high for my next step.
After Bachelors, I didn;t know what I really liked.
I love writing…. and Love Asian studies., love literature
I took Asian studies because I want to gain general knowledge and be able to communicate intellectually without always standing in my world of fantasies.
If i selected a different forking path, do you think my life will be different?
I actually was going to apply to University of Bath to take on literature…..but i changed my mind.
I was also to go to Lancaster, but I changed my plans too… I never believed in destiny, but something did not make me satisfied with those decisions.

I love literature and love writing, but i don;t think I would be able to discuss it as well as I could discuss about issues in Asian Studies. I found my passion, in researching to seek for a certain truth, to write and to share my knowledge to others. I even like serious discussions…. I really love to listen to what people think… is this the person who I was?

I was pretty much anti-social, but now, I want to listen to people and think , analyse about them. My analysis does not only based on how Romeo and Juilet’s love is being an infatuation, or a true love, but how Romeo and Juilet would not have commit suicide if the society did not set such expectations and hatred , loving an enemy brings you to this end. If they didn;t commit suicide, I bet their love will be forbidden. They will be chained into their rooms…. Because this is what two families find it as a taboo. Love can be dangerous. Love is not always everyone wants. It can be wicked….and it can create enemies too.

So how do I apply this Romeo and Juilet to the Asian context. Look around?
The Asian family USUALLY wants their kids to marry a person who can marry into the whole chains of relatives. To get along and to be appreciated and accepted by relatives, parents, siblings, grandparents…Pretty much, there are several star-crossed, forbidden lovers like those in Asia, but if you look it to a mature thought, would you want to marry some one who you only love….but your own family might actually dislike you or maybe disown you for it?

First of all the Asian family works this way. You do not leave your home at 18. You stay with them, they pay your living fees, your school and uni fees and everything.

You may question “Are they marrying your lover, or you are marrying your lover?”

Honestly, it is hard to say. Your emotions for the person deepens, while the people around you rejects.
I have no position to say what I would choose, because I have not been in that situation yet!!!
But then If I first choose a person, I must consider them to be Mr. Perfect. If not I won;t fall in love! This is what I told myself. Someone like Sakurai-san or Tegoshi-kun would be awesome… But it is like 3 percent of the world. I, myself, would say I am unique.

I love intellectual conversations, I love talking about entertainment and do some monomane, and also chat about fun stuff. But I WOULD like to know people’s opinion on things too! My personality changes too, I like to be pampered but I also like to spoil people. Pretty much I like someone who shares these same values as me. Able to communicate and to understand me is the best point ever!

So back to my main topic. Is this path I have chosen, the best of all?
I have a passion to do a PhD. I really do, but to i have to ability to?
Tegoshi-kun, I have an aim in life…. and this is my next goal, do you think I am overpowering you?
Well, honestly, I won’t speak of superiority though. I will learn to be humble like Sakurai-san!
Sakurai-san might be happy that someone who likes him is going to aim this high ne?
I have a feeling I always want to communicate with Sho-chan.

I will write another fan letter to him soon. FUTARI de!

angelofdevotion deshita!

You know one always have an ideal type in mind.
Is the Ideal type……..always the person you find and love????
My ideal type must more or less be similar to me! Shares my interests and values….

Here I go.

1) My Ideal guy need to have a degree from a prestige uni, and has pretty good grades.

2) He needs to be able to discuss in intellectual conversations on current events, politics, philosophy and also have his opinions on certain large topics (life, love, humanity, equality, human rights), and also be able to discuss in entertainment issues and TV. Too much politics is too boring, and too much TV is too nonsensical.

3) It will be great if he is romantic, so we can have romanticist’s battles… I am a self-proclaim romanticist, I do need someone to challenge me and be my rival!

4) Someone who speaks more than their native language. I speak four. I am fluent in two, could communicate in one bascially, and another language in the process of learning.

5) Could sing, dance and loves Karaoke. I would love my dates to have loads of karaoke!

6) Is fashionable. I cannot stand being with a guy without any sense of fashion. I rather be a lesbian. (in fact, i am so close to being one. I still have doubts if I am into androgynous people. Both feminine boys and masculine girls..)

7) Give me my space too! I don’t have to spend the whole day sticking myself to one person. I have my life so well, I write, I draw and I create meaning to my life. I don’t want to dedicate my entire life for just one person.

8 ) Likes to read my poems, blog, novels… whatever. I would love the person who inspires me to read my writings!!!

9) is creative. He doesn’t always need to give me surprises, but then I think being creative and having a sense of humour will brighten up my days.

10 ) Doesn’t prevent me from fangirling and being a fujoshi.

11) We spoil one another. I like to be pampered to… and sometimes.. I would like to be spoiled. But not too often!

12) Take me to amusement parks! and we can have a “who is a scaredy cat” competition in the haunted house!

13) Is a quick thinker and help me to make decisions too.. I can make my own, but I will need some consult.

14) Must be an Asian.

15) Treat me as an equal! we have things that we can be more superior than one another. I might suck at soccer, and maths. But i am good in literature, writing and….social studies. So don’t step over me and put me as a housewife! I didnt get a goddamn degree and aim to a PhD to be a housewife!

This are just the 15 qualities I want from him!
Actually… It is much more of a crossover between Sakurai sho and Tegoshi Yuya.

Sho-chan has all the qualities apart from him being romantic……but he is Mr. Perfect for me…….
Tegoshi is my ideal boyfriend, who has a bit of a immature behaviour, but he is smart too.. He just gotta not be too superior in front of me. Cause i am just like you Tegoshi, I am competitive but I do not bitch. I respect everyone’s talents!

Eva’s Mr. Perfect Sakurai Sho (Ideal guy= husband) To me…. I don’t consider him as an idol…
I consider him as…. someone who I will settle down with…. Someone like him…

Eva’s Ideal boyfriend…. someone who I worship… Someone who can inspire me…
Romantic…..Likes to spoil and be spoiled… This is the kind of guy my knees will go weak for…
Godly like…. and since he is intelligent and fashionable… That is too great!

I just have to wait for 3 years before I could really say if the Ideal Boyfriend will be my Ideal Guy like Sho-chan!

angelofdevotion deshita!

Since I will be leaving Sydney for Bangkok, Thailand this Sunday, My life is not easy at all….
I am so tired and my arms are aching so much!
It’s so hard to repack and pack again……
And since I am such a princess at home,
You can imagine how hard it is for me.

But even if I were to think on the bright side it is beneficial for me in the future…. somehow…..

。。私の心わ。。なに私おもいます。。。誰知らない。本当につかれた。。

神さま。。たすけて

New association of a song!!! I didn;t have a name for it though….I will just name it. New wind!

A single ticket on my hand,
I have made up my mind.
I would be aiming forward
there will be no regret.

Even though there are times
that things don;t go my way….
Whatever road that leads me to the light,
I won’t look back for tomorrow.

The new wind that beat against my skin,
Might be too strong for me…
But the heart that has a determination
would always be there
These last words that I have for myself
Is not hard to say
I just want to be someone  whose voice shall be heard,
my existence shall be known…

I often asked myself
if my aims are up too high
Would I break and fall beneath..
Losing all hopes and dreams..

But everytime I see your smile
All my doubts are gone..
You would always be there
To inspire me with your song

The new wind that beats against my skin
I might not be able to fight
But I have a place where I need to reach out to
No matter how many times I fail, I will rise
Cause life would be meaningless without….an aim in life

If I only have a single wish, how I really would like to grant for your happiness so I could see your smiles that always bring brightness into my life your voice enchanted me under a spell that I could not escape from.

It has captured my heart, and I am sure that no matter how long, the devotion that I have for you shall never dies. The voice that had always touches my soul….and a soft sweet voice that is the one to bring tears to my…eyes. You have brought the creative soul inside which had disappear ever since I met my maturity out from my heart once again….

I kept on writing without any hesitations; I wrote out all the inspirations That I have received from you, those loving poems that never fails to make my fingers dances .gracefully on the keyboard… to dedicate more poems for you. I may be the best greatest romanticist among those people I know and I’m sure I might not even get this voice out to reach you—— or to even dream that you will realise

My existence in this world yet… .. I will never give up on reaching out to you, —sending my voice out to you to let you know that how …thankful I am to you. Always, I ……wanted to see your face, shining so brightly with that smile…….that would erase from my mind and that great voice that never .fails to heal the wounds in…my soul…..

How much I wanted to thank you for all those warm feelings you have given to me but yet I dearly wish… for you to realise how much you have an influence in someone’s live, through the little screen in front of me …which I got to know you

I honestly couldn’t imagine life being WITHOUT your voice. Would the part of me that contributes to the creative world ever exists again? How much you mean to me I will never ever forget. The poetic soul that you have activate shall forever live for you. \what makes you such a great idol? You have climbed up from the boy who no one knew, to the shining star that others should looked out for…….the bright light that have attracted so many

How much I wish, you would forever be shining and smiling, giving all the best you can, and keep on being the strength to inspire me

Only your voice ,,,,,,alone

Is enough to keep

Me alive….

Of all the songs that I love, Nothing touches me as much as this song.
The songwriter is the same person who wrote the Mou Koi Nante shinai nante, and he wrote this song for SMAP-sama. I know their voices ain’t the “saikou” but it is a great song. I’ll just give you the KAT-TUN version, since I love them (When I still love Jin sooo much, when he isn;t so emo-Americanized )

And this is NEWS version. 2004. Tegoshi’s voice… is so good.

These are the lyrics by Megchan

Hanaya no misesaki ni naranda
Ironna hana wo mite ita
Hito sorezore konomi wa aru kedo
Doremo minna kirei da ne
Kono naka de dare ga ichiban da nante
Arasou koto mo shinaide
Baketsy no naka hokorashige ni
Shanto mune wo hatte iru

Sore na no ni bokura ningen wa
Dousjite kou mo kurabetagaru?
Hitori hitori chigau no ni sono naka de
Ichiban ni naritagaru?

Sou sa bokura wa
Sekai ni hitotsu dake no hana
Hitori hitori chigau tane wo motsu
Sono hana wo sakaseru koto dake ni
Isshoukenmei ni nareba ii

Komatta you ni warainagara
Zutto mayotteru hito ga iru
Ganbatte saita hana wa doremo
Kirei dakara shikata nai ne
Yatto mise kara dete kita
Sono hito ga kakaete ita
Irotoridori no hanataba to
Ureshisou na yokogao

Namae mo shiranakatta keredo
Ano hi boku ni egao wo kureta
Daremo ki zukanai you na basho de
Saiteta hana no you ni

Sou sa bokura wa
Sekai ni hitotsu dake no hana
Hitori hitori chigau tane wo motsu
Sono hana wo sakaseru koto dake ni
Isshoukenmei ni nareba ii

Chiisai hana ya ookina hana
Hitotsu toshite onaji mono wa nai kara
Number one ni naranakutemo ii
Motomoto tokubetsu na only one

__________________________

Translations from Kiwi Musume

English

I looked at all kinds of flowers
Lined up in front of the flower shop
Each person prefers a different type
But they’re all beautiful
None of them fight
Over who’s the best
They just stand up tall and proud
In their buckets

So how come we people
Want to compare ourselves like this?
Why do we want to be the best
When everybody’s different?

Yes, each of us is
A flower there’s only one of in the whole world
Each of us has their own seeds
So let’s just do our best
To make them grow into flowers

There are people whose smiles are strained
Because they’re completely lost
But it doesn’t matter
Because every flower that’s worked so hard to grow is beautiful
Eventually someone came
Out of the flower shop
Carrying a bunch of flowers in all different colours
His face looked so happy

I didn’t know his name
But he gave me a smile
Like a flower that had bloomed
In a place nobody had noticed

Yes, each of us is
A flower there’s only one of in the whole world
Each of us has their own seeds
So let’s just do our best
To make them grow into flowers

Little flowers and big flowers
Not one is the same as another
You don’t need to be number one
You’re special, the only one of you, to begin with

__________________________________________________

Of course. You know from young until now, People keep on comparing you, pushing you down when you do not fit the expectation of the society. Flowers are referring to us humans who always need to follow to be the same as others, but actually, we can be different and be appreciate by others too! We need to accept others too, and people will accept us as well. This song sure made me cry every single time i sing it. I can never finish the song without crying. It is just so touching.