It was almost 6 months ago when I picked up my very first Japanese language book, Pink in colour, such a colour which inspires me to learn the language. Of course, the very first lessons were easy, and I managed it really well. The tests, the quizzes and all those were not that difficult for me, I managed to get a good resultfor the first 3 months, dedicating all my time for Japanese.

Not Until after the songkran break when everything changes. Japanese does not only gets harder and more complicating, I have been engaged in a series of events which brought me into a path of uncertainty. My grades dropped…..my concentration became short, and lack of inspiration made me so sick and tired of the classes. I pushed myself way too much, but lucky for me, I have so many good friends in my Day 2 class, and I feel that I really belong somewhere. I had all the fun with them, and would never want to lose any moment of happiness while being with these friends.

My grades that are not going as well as it did made me think that perhaps, letting go of something, and concentrate only on one thing, is the best for me. I am not a very smart person, I trained my own brain to be effective, and I would continue to do so. My life, after all, should be where i first choose it to be, not anywhere else, but into the bright future where I think will brighten my path of determination.

10 more days to my Monbusho test, and 12 more days, to my DAY 3 class. I am not sure if I will do a great job or not, but I will dedicate my time, back to Japanese and my studies. Since right now, I dont have to even think of attaching myself to anything, I can go back to my Day 1 energy and try my best in what I do, and do the very best I can. I already know that getting myself involve with other things but myself would eventually pull me backwards.

Just like a sinking boat, you cannot let anyone lean on you when you are already halfway into the ocean. You treat the crew well, and throw unwanted things away, into the ocean. You know, finally, you gonna be successful.

I am not sure what holds for me in the future, but then I will say, I will try to never let anything get in my way or my dreams. I have learnt it from people around me, dreams can be thrown away so easily, i will not let it happen to me. As I used to say, I can sacrifice romance for a good career and a Phd.

I want romance too… but please don;t come this time. I am in the middle of building my dreams and only coming now with break it all……