This is Eva-chan….. staying up all night and morning….Stressed out.
But my brain won’t fail to think philosophically.
Is there stairs that pave to the highest aim in life?
If we aim for higher and higher, are we being greedy?
I have always wondered myself.
After one step, I aimed so high for my next step.
After Bachelors, I didn;t know what I really liked.
I love writing…. and Love Asian studies., love literature
I took Asian studies because I want to gain general knowledge and be able to communicate intellectually without always standing in my world of fantasies.
If i selected a different forking path, do you think my life will be different?
I actually was going to apply to University of Bath to take on literature…..but i changed my mind.
I was also to go to Lancaster, but I changed my plans too… I never believed in destiny, but something did not make me satisfied with those decisions.
I love literature and love writing, but i don;t think I would be able to discuss it as well as I could discuss about issues in Asian Studies. I found my passion, in researching to seek for a certain truth, to write and to share my knowledge to others. I even like serious discussions…. I really love to listen to what people think… is this the person who I was?
I was pretty much anti-social, but now, I want to listen to people and think , analyse about them. My analysis does not only based on how Romeo and Juilet’s love is being an infatuation, or a true love, but how Romeo and Juilet would not have commit suicide if the society did not set such expectations and hatred , loving an enemy brings you to this end. If they didn;t commit suicide, I bet their love will be forbidden. They will be chained into their rooms…. Because this is what two families find it as a taboo. Love can be dangerous. Love is not always everyone wants. It can be wicked….and it can create enemies too.
So how do I apply this Romeo and Juilet to the Asian context. Look around?
The Asian family USUALLY wants their kids to marry a person who can marry into the whole chains of relatives. To get along and to be appreciated and accepted by relatives, parents, siblings, grandparents…Pretty much, there are several star-crossed, forbidden lovers like those in Asia, but if you look it to a mature thought, would you want to marry some one who you only love….but your own family might actually dislike you or maybe disown you for it?
First of all the Asian family works this way. You do not leave your home at 18. You stay with them, they pay your living fees, your school and uni fees and everything.
You may question “Are they marrying your lover, or you are marrying your lover?”
Honestly, it is hard to say. Your emotions for the person deepens, while the people around you rejects.
I have no position to say what I would choose, because I have not been in that situation yet!!!
But then If I first choose a person, I must consider them to be Mr. Perfect. If not I won;t fall in love! This is what I told myself. Someone like Sakurai-san or Tegoshi-kun would be awesome… But it is like 3 percent of the world. I, myself, would say I am unique.
I love intellectual conversations, I love talking about entertainment and do some monomane, and also chat about fun stuff. But I WOULD like to know people’s opinion on things too! My personality changes too, I like to be pampered but I also like to spoil people. Pretty much I like someone who shares these same values as me. Able to communicate and to understand me is the best point ever!
So back to my main topic. Is this path I have chosen, the best of all?
I have a passion to do a PhD. I really do, but to i have to ability to?
Tegoshi-kun, I have an aim in life…. and this is my next goal, do you think I am overpowering you?
Well, honestly, I won’t speak of superiority though. I will learn to be humble like Sakurai-san!
Sakurai-san might be happy that someone who likes him is going to aim this high ne?
I have a feeling I always want to communicate with Sho-chan.
I will write another fan letter to him soon. FUTARI de!