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Stairs that leads to success

This is Eva-chan….. staying up all night and morning….Stressed out.
But my brain won’t fail to think philosophically.

Is there  stairs that pave to the highest aim in life?
If we aim for higher and higher, are we being greedy?
I have always wondered myself.

After one step, I aimed so high for my next step.
After Bachelors, I didn;t know what I really liked.
I love writing…. and Love Asian studies., love literature
I took Asian studies because I want to gain general knowledge and be able to communicate intellectually without always standing in my world of fantasies.
If i selected a different forking path, do you think my life will be different?
I actually was going to apply to University of Bath to take on literature…..but i changed my mind.
I was also to go to Lancaster, but I changed my plans too… I never believed in destiny, but something did not make me satisfied with those decisions.

I love literature and love writing, but i don;t think I would be able to discuss it as well as I could discuss about issues in Asian Studies. I found my passion, in researching to seek for a certain truth, to write and to share my knowledge to others. I even like serious discussions…. I really love to listen to what people think… is this the person who I was?

I was pretty much anti-social, but now, I want to listen to people and think , analyse about them. My analysis does not only based on how Romeo and Juilet’s love is being an infatuation, or a true love, but how Romeo and Juilet would not have commit suicide if the society did not set such expectations and hatred , loving an enemy brings you to this end. If they didn;t commit suicide, I bet their love will be forbidden. They will be chained into their rooms…. Because this is what two families find it as a taboo. Love can be dangerous. Love is not always everyone wants. It can be wicked….and it can create enemies too.

So how do I apply this Romeo and Juilet to the Asian context. Look around?
The Asian family USUALLY wants their kids to marry a person who can marry into the whole chains of relatives. To get along and to be appreciated and accepted by relatives, parents, siblings, grandparents…Pretty much, there are several star-crossed, forbidden lovers like those in Asia, but if you look it to a mature thought, would you want to marry some one who you only love….but your own family might actually dislike you or maybe disown you for it?

First of all the Asian family works this way. You do not leave your home at 18. You stay with them, they pay your living fees, your school and uni fees and everything.

You may question “Are they marrying your lover, or you are marrying your lover?”

Honestly, it is hard to say. Your emotions for the person deepens, while the people around you rejects.
I have no position to say what I would choose, because I have not been in that situation yet!!!
But then If I first choose a person, I must consider them to be Mr. Perfect. If not I won;t fall in love! This is what I told myself. Someone like Sakurai-san or Tegoshi-kun would be awesome… But it is like 3 percent of the world. I, myself, would say I am unique.

I love intellectual conversations, I love talking about entertainment and do some monomane, and also chat about fun stuff. But I WOULD like to know people’s opinion on things too! My personality changes too, I like to be pampered but I also like to spoil people. Pretty much I like someone who shares these same values as me. Able to communicate and to understand me is the best point ever!

So back to my main topic. Is this path I have chosen, the best of all?
I have a passion to do a PhD. I really do, but to i have to ability to?
Tegoshi-kun, I have an aim in life…. and this is my next goal, do you think I am overpowering you?
Well, honestly, I won’t speak of superiority though. I will learn to be humble like Sakurai-san!
Sakurai-san might be happy that someone who likes him is going to aim this high ne?
I have a feeling I always want to communicate with Sho-chan.

I will write another fan letter to him soon. FUTARI de!

angelofdevotion deshita!


About angelofdevotion

Born in Thailand, raised in Singapore, came back to Thailand during my teens and lived there since. English is more of my native language, and I teach it for a living!


One thought on “Stairs that leads to success

  1. At least you got some idea of what you like. Some people haven’t found it at all til the end of their lives, or they didn’t even realize they’re doing something they don’t enjoy, and they don’t know why they aim and keep doing that.

    I think it’s not selfish at all to aim higher and higher. I think.. by aiming high, you’ll try to make urself better to be nearer to ur aim. And with that point in you, I think you’ll live ur life without regret later.

    For me, I don’t need that special someone to marry the whole chains of my family, but I wish he’ll get along well with some family members who are important for me. I really love some of my family members and noone can beat that. At the same time, I’ll marry someone because I love him, and coz I wanna marry that person as a person I love. However, sometimes for 2 people to be together, they need to share something in common, right? for me, I really value the importance of family. As a consequence, I want someone who got that attitude as well. I don’t think I can get along with someone who doesn’t care of other family members at all, but care only himself and his friends. and someone who got that attitude which is the same as mine, might possibly come from the somewhat similar family background. hum… of course, some crashes will always be there, but I think… it’s important for the person to like my family and being liked by my family as well. Since both sides’re really important for me, so I can’t choose one or the other. hum.. and I also believe… if u r marrying someone, u r gonna create the “family” with him, so it’s important for him to care of “family” =)

    I think it’s hard to know whether the path you’ve chosen’s the best of all, and if you don’t know that.. I think… you just have to choose the path that you want to go the most at the moment =)

    Posted by sasipa | December 13, 2008, 1:42 am

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