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The Experience of my first Japanese Exam

So I ended up making a few mistakes that i know I have made, yet i think i am likely to not get less than an A -.
OMG, I did loads of BSing in the interview part, but haha…I guess I was kinda fluent at some point. hohoho

anyway….. something deep
Well, I think I honestly have this kind of attachment to people who i get close to, and that makes me always so upset when I had to part them. Do you have this kind of attachment too? And moreover, I am a very very jealous person, when someone steps into the life or the world of the people i truly love and I fear that the someone might replace me as their sidekick, best pal or whatever, I just want to be irreplaceable. Because that is how i treat everyone I love.
My best friend right from Grade 11, is still my best friend for he is the only one who knows every single part of me, every darkest secrets, and the brightest days…….
My best honey…. like more than a soultwin to me, more than a friend to be still remains as that forever,

But yet, I still feel that I want to be irreplacable….

Forget that…. being too emotional..

Sometimes… watching too much dramas which involve evil bastards (husbands) and wicked bitches (mistresses) makes me want to be become officially a lesbian or maybe just a woman who marries a bisexual…. who is only a male to me… but is rather gay….. I would actually prefer my guy to have an affair with a dude then a chick. Well…. cause I ain’t one sexy, seductive  girl… I am just educated, respected, well-behaved young girl who hates those women who degrades themselves by sleeping around.

That explains why I loev Tegoshi so much. Ain;t too masculine….. and that makes me feel kinda save. If he has  GF, that gf might have a high tendency of being a lesbian. I DO!

I remembered my first few crushes .. was with a tomboy in my primary school!!!
I dont think I like that person like love… I just feel very attached to her, and hated it when i see her enjoying herself more than she is with me. But That was just my closest time of being a lesbian.

But eventually… I might be a bisexual… who knows… I still like feminine men, and masculine girls after all….. I am rather quite masculine myself.. hahaha

anyway… been too relaxed today!


About angelofdevotion

Born in Thailand, raised in Singapore, came back to Thailand during my teens and lived there since. English is more of my native language, and I teach it for a living!


One thought on “The Experience of my first Japanese Exam

  1. hi i read a few of your posts and i hope you dont mind me saying, i dont think your a lesbian at all. those feelings you have, all girls have them but they never speak about it. i know cuz i have felt the same. especially when i was younger. i think it was cuz i grew up surrounded by men, no mother and 2 brothers. i was a bit masculine and liked guy stuff and did have strong feelings towards girls and felt jealousy just like you. but that doesnt make me a bi sexual or lesbian since they were not feelings of romance or passion just a strong bond of friendship. it was guys who i had crushes on and made my heart beat fast. i cant even imagine being with a girl and just the thought makes me feel sick while real lesbians will not even give it a second thought. i think that draws the line between lesbians and heterosexual women.

    Posted by Notlez | March 20, 2009, 7:17 pm

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