How I wish i had a time machine which would turn me back in time, in a time where i treasure most.
I would say, my high school life is not all exciting, but then, it is the time when i have the least responsibility to do, and then, I got the best perception of friends……..and became the “loner” or the one hopeless romantic poet who never got a proper group. It was grade 8 when I had a group, but as they grew, I stayed behind…..suffering from a peter pan syndrome of hating to grow up. I stayed with friends who knew me best, or who shares some similarities, but to say, I was not attached to a group at all….only individuals.
And in high school, there are crushes. Of course, there are people i admire too…..and I really like the sweet, pure, innocent feeling of liking someone back in high school. Everything was really pure for me, and it’s like Shakespeare’s muses have come and inspired me. Liking someone is a good feeling, but being with someone is another. Liking someone, there are no strings attached, you just prefer one person more than others….or are my views of secret admirers in high school are still very immature?
Some people who grew up fast, they are in a different base. I haven’t actually play in any kind of game, apart from being the fangirl. haha
Anyway, what is the real reason that I am feeling so much like my high schooler self these days.
Because I really hate the mature, adult world.
I don’t like the “liking” of someone because of advantages, not because of their personalities and similarities they share.
I understand that once a person grows up and even at the age of mine (22 years) should be ready to cast my fantasies of secret admirers and high school ideal crushes away….be ready to face the world where there would no more be cheering for the handsome jocks at the side of the basketball court, no more asking to solve maths problems from the cute nerd, no more laughing with the hilarious class clown, and no more of the closest guy friend who knows your darkest secrets, but likely you hardly have any feelings for him, because he is more like your sidekick.
But above all, i often fantasize about going back to high school.
What if i participate in more sport clubs so maybe i can get more sociable then i am today? Maybe I can even get that cute jock (I mean athletes) to know my name (there is not one that i am interested in, though in High school , My ideal boyfriend would be someone like Zac Efron from High School Musical.. Unfortunately, in RIS, i don’t think they exists) でも。。。今。。。わたしはあいました。。。おそいな。。。
What if I try to use my intellectuals a little to communicate with the cute preppie boy who has a great future ahead? Well, there are some…. but then, to think, in high school, i am so damn freaky…. so emo, so artistic, and so SADAKO.
I am at the worst, incurable level of the peter pan syndrome.
DUDE.. i am already 22 and i should stop acting like 17.
I have already passed Masters, so I need to fix my mind on studies………
No more day-dreaming about those cliche boys anymore !!!!