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Rants are back in May

You may wonder where on earth have I gone to. Yes. I was in the brink of being insane. I honestly need my great psycho-therapy sessions with my best friend but apparently we are living in two different countries and both are going insane….at the same time for different situations and need the therapy. soon.

Okay, my first situation. I think i have only 40 percent of getting the scholarship since I do not have a GPA because I use the Australian system which does not grades on GPA. Moreover,  haven;t yet find a professor who will be able to support me. But I think I will try on sending emails next week.

My second situation, I wanna go for PhD in Waseda, but apparently, I need to fly to Japan to take a written exam and an interview which if i get rejected, I am in trouble, baby.

I have one more choice, which isto go to Sophia Uni, but they only accept 3 candidates!!!
OMG my Phd life is not going smoothly…

End of my number one rant.

My number two rant, I find it hard to catch up with Japanese now, since it is getting so difficult. Well then, I am dropping off my A student position. I am depressed because I do my best, and I still cannot reach to the very top.

And my last and kinda depressing rant goes to…..some problems with the gym and me.

Well, something happened, so I won’t be having a trainer any longer. The sad thing is not only that I don;t get to be trained anymore, but it is not being able to have someone who actually trains well, speak English and is good in ice-breaking.  It is such a lost of asset for that gym to lose someone with that kind of qualification. Cause from now, I don;t have any motivation to go there anymore, let alone all kinds of torturing-the-body training.If i do those things myself, I just put 40percent of concentration in it.

This is the part when I need someone most, but when all the people I need, aren;t exactly at my side. I need Praew far away in London…..I need Note, far away in Kyoto. I need loads of other people for psychotherapy to at least listen to my troublesome life…. My life is crappy…I have truly fallen from my destiny.

I came up with something the other day. I would like to tell all of my readers…

Each footstep you took, leaves footprints behind…
There would be no way….going back to pick up the pieces…
Therefore, you never know when life would end…
Just treat everyday…. as it would be your last.

I am going to battle on Monday.

And a brain battle on Tuesday.
After that I need books to keep my sanity.
I need books to tell me that I am going to make it through all these depression I have.

but those people won;t understand me either….. no one does. Except Praew. or maybe…..

Well…. I need Jason to take some revenge.
Jason Jason, come out….. come out.. Whereever you are..
There are some dudes who aren;t so decent around….
Just a a small amount of blood to spill…
Just a small scene for me to watch and chill…
Jason Jason, come out… come out…. where ever you are……..

My anti-social and psychotic personality strikes back everything the storm hits me.
But my vengeful self comes back..from time to time. Occasionally..

Good Night. I don;t know how long I would come and write again, but I can assure…. it;s not gonna be last.


About angelofdevotion

Born in Thailand, raised in Singapore, came back to Thailand during my teens and lived there since. English is more of my native language, and I teach it for a living!


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