Today, I am back with another proverb.
Through life, you can either cry or laugh.
Have you been through those? Of course, you have laughed, and you too, have tasted your own tears.
There are moments which made you laughed, and whenever you think back to those memories, it will put a smile of your face. If I were to think back now, I would think of the moment I stood in spotlight, and performed my martial arts in front of 800…….high school students.
That was the Cultural Show, and it was the last show I made on the Godbout stage.I was alone, and I didn’t even know why I dared to even get on that stage to perform. Perhaps that time, I wasn’t so much of a hikikomori as I am now. I am not exactly confiding myself, but it is just that I am being ignorant and try to reject the society because I want to be an individual. My fave writer, Murakami Haruki, has said that he didn’t choose to work in a company like others, because he want to be an individual. I want to be just like him.
Anyway, I need to pull you back to the Cultural Show. My hands were trembling. The spotlight were hurting my eyes. It wasn’t like in Grade 6 when I had to be a character in the Titanic, and in Grade 8 where I need to perform a heavy metal concert with my best friend and another girl I can;t remember who on earth that was, along with other students from 8-5 and 8-6. Notice I used the word “students” Not “friends”. Okay there were friends, but then, just students are more of a majority than friends.
I could remember my name being called. That was nice. I never knew people knew my name. I mean so many people knows my name. Probably, they checked it in the schedule, and just called my name as they have seen on that paper.
That made me smile.
And what made me cry?
There are episodes in life which had made me cry, but if I think that, it wasn’t worth crying for. That is because I have become stronger. I have once said I wanted revenge. People would not understand the feeling of a person who has been bullied. If you asked me now, I would say I want revenge, but instead, I want to do something better. That is to forgive them, and forever forget them. If I ever met them again, I would treat it like I have never known them before.
And I shall say once again,