And I guess I really quit.
First of all, my proposal is not much of an interest, not so much of an academic study, and okay~ whatever, I managed to recite some theories this time, but yet my proposal wasn’t clear for them. So…..whatever, I am going to start to do my own research work by myself and then publish it online. The reason is that I care no longer about this dream I have. Maybe the less I know, the more I idolize about Japan!
And so, my dreams of being in Japan still remains as a dream. Since I have a job now, I want to continue what I am destined to do. But that dream of mine~ if it is mine, it will come. Not gonna chase for it anymore when it is only significant to me and not to others.
There are other scholarships, but I am tired for now. It is better for me to work in the field I am best at. I will become a better teacher! (since I failed to be as a researcher)
Meantime, I guess I’ll chase the dream that I almost left behind. A writer. A novelist… yes, that was what I dreamed of being… and I will continue to chase that dream. It’s hard, but who knows…….I might be a better writer than a researcher. ^^
* Sebastian, take me in your arms and devour my soul. Giving in to the darkness… and make it as painful as you can…..