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And once again, I failed the Monbusho interview for the 2nd year.

And I guess I really quit.
First of all, my proposal is not much of an interest, not so much of an academic study, and okay~ whatever, I managed to recite some theories this time, but yet my proposal wasn’t clear for them. So…..whatever, I am going to start to do my own research work by myself and then publish it online. The reason is that I care no longer about this dream I have. Maybe the less I know, the more I idolize about Japan!

And so, my dreams of being in Japan still remains as a dream. Since I have a job now, I want to continue what I am destined to do. But that dream of mine~ if it is mine, it will come. Not gonna chase for it anymore when it is only significant to me and not to others.

There are other scholarships, but I am tired for now. It is better for me to work in the field I am best at. I will become a better teacher! (since I failed to be as a researcher)

Meantime, I guess I’ll chase the dream that I almost left behind. A writer. A novelist… yes, that was what I dreamed of being… and I will continue to chase that dream. It’s hard, but who knows…….I might be a better writer than a researcher. ^^

* Sebastian, take me in your arms and devour my soul. Giving in to the darkness… and make it as painful as you can…..


About angelofdevotion

Born in Thailand, raised in Singapore, came back to Thailand during my teens and lived there since. English is more of my native language, and I teach it for a living!


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